BREAKING FREE OF A RELIGIOUS PSYCHOSIS:
For years i had been perched precariously on the fence between theism and atheism. Attempting desperately to conflate the emotions i was "required" to feel towards God, with the logical processes of my brain telling me that the whole thing was just a ruse. And even though I already knew from a very young age what side of the fence i was gravitating towards, the emotional bonds of religion are so strong, that i could not find the inner strength to break them... well, at least not until recently!
The final nail in my "religious coffin" has been witnessing the rise of religious extremism around the world (beginning with 9/11 and now the event in Paris), in which i see the *TRUE* manifestation of religion's hidden agenda, which is: division, intolerance, and subjugation.
So after fighting vehemently against my own logic, and attempting to convince myself (foolishly) that the brainwashed emotional illusions i had been taught were somehow "real", I realize now that i cannot fight the truth any longer, and have come to the conclusion that religious ideologies are the most destructive force that has ever existed in the history of mankind. And now that I've freed myself of this psychosis, let my story be a testament so that others don't have to suffer through the psychological *HELL* that i have!
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS INNOCENCE:
As all "loving" parents tend to do, mine indoctrinated me into Christianity the day i was born. And even though attendance was not optional in my family (the only acceptable excuse for missing mass was life threatening illness or injury), my earliest memories of the church are good memories. To me, church was an activity with the extended family: we would listen to a gentle old man's lecturing; then eat a big meal; then meet and play with other kids, and maybe go for ice cream afterwards. Standard "wholesome" family behaviors.
Of course, these communal behaviors play two insidious roles: (1) They project "innocence" to outsiders and/or potential new members (2) They mold the members into a homogeneous block. A block in which instinctual mimicking and the emotional need to belong will later be used as *WEAPONS* to subdue the innate inquisitiveness of the human mind when inconsistencies arise in their ideology -- oh yeah, peer pressure. It's an effective tool baby!
A "GENTILE" INTRODUCTION TO HATE:
Children were not allowed to attend adult mass (which was the first few hours of every Sunday service), so the children would be hustled off to something innocently referred to as "Sunday School", where we could learn about the "benevolent exploits" of man named Jesus. And i remember that we would always sing a little song titled: "Jesus loves the little children" (how could i forget! This infectious little "jingle from hell" has been burned into my psyche!). And it was in the lyrics of this very song, that my first conflict with religion manifested itself.
Jesus Loves the little children...
All the children of the world...
Red and yellow, black and white...
They are precious in his sight...
Jesus loves the little children of the world.
As i was singing the third line of the song, i looked around the room and noticed something peculiar: that only one race of children were in my class. I found this to be strange. Then later, when i attended mass, i noticed that everyone in the whole church was the same race! How could this be? I asked myself: where are the churches with the red and yellow and black and white kids singing glories to Jesus? After questioning teachers and parents, the best answer i could get out of them was : "Well, they have their churches and we have our churches". I then understood for the first time in my life the concepts of "racism", "segregation" and "hypocrisy" -- even if i did not yet know how to spell them!
THE REVELATION OF SELFISH DIVISIONS:
The next epiphany occurred somewhere in my early teen years when I had started to notice that Christianity was divided into numerous denominations. When i asked parents or teachers what goes on inside these mysterious "other churches" they would always warn: "Oh, they are crazy because they do X, Y, Z. But we don't believe in that because we do A, B, C".
Of course in my mind i realized the hypocrisy of such logic: Surely if we thought of them as crazy, then they must also have considered us as crazy. So these mutually exclusive conclusions were based purely on emotion and not logic.
Note: That little internal voice is telling me that something is wrong here!
In a similar manner, the existence of religions outside of Christianity contradicted the teachings of our church. From our perspective, *WE* worshiped the one-and-only-true-god, and only those who worshiped our god would be allowed entry into paradise; all others would suffer the flames of Hell!
After noticing that the members of other religious organizations were not much different than myself, i could not reconcile how a supposedly "benevolent God" could send folks to an eternal fire pit based solely on the superficiality of an organizational symbol? And furthermore, how could i be absolutely sure that i was a member of the "one-true-god's" religion? Surely the Jews and Muslims and Hindus and blah-blah-blah were just as sure as we were. But what if *I* was wrong? What if *I* was being mislead?
After noticing that the members of other religious organizations were not much different than myself, i could not reconcile how a supposedly "benevolent God" could send folks to an eternal fire pit based solely on the superficiality of an organizational symbol? And furthermore, how could i be absolutely sure that i was a member of the "one-true-god's" religion? Surely the Jews and Muslims and Hindus and blah-blah-blah were just as sure as we were. But what if *I* was wrong? What if *I* was being mislead?
THE SICK TRUTH FINALLY REVEALED:
Religions prey on illiterates and emotional weaklings, and they seduce them with these false emotional ideologies. Because only a monster would deny an "ideology of love" right?(<--sarcasm). But the love is just a facade. A facade to disguise the layers of hate seething below the surface. They *NEED* to have someone to hate, someone to point their dirty little finger at and say:
"See, THEY are wrong, but WE are right. WE are Gods chosen people, therefor WE are special. Therefore, WE are justified by destroying THEM"But they never allow you to make rational decisions based on observable facts, no, instead they brow beat you into submission and force you to accept their false teaching simply based on emotional faith. They will lash you with your own guilt and sorrow until you're unable to fight back, These are the tools utilized by the tyrannical, and should be evidence of the inherent evil that is called by the name "religion".
I believe emotions have always been "necessary evil" for man's survival. Especially in the primitive stages of evolution where reason and logic had not yet maintained a firm footing. In these early stages, lifeforms have no choice but to rely on the basic "modality of emotion" in order to navigate their world. But if these emotions are not properly managed, and their dangers not completely understood, they can be the "bane" of advanced lifeforms such as ourselves.
Religion, under the "clout of love", hones man's emotions into finely tuned weapons of mass destruction. Weapons that will be used, under the guidance of tyrannical teachings, to destroy external opposition and maintain absolute compliance within the herd group.
If you as an adult wish to deny your own reason, and become the subject of a tyrannical organization that intends to create an emotionally dependent and intellectually inept slave of you, then by all means you are free to do so. But as my experience has shown, children should not be exposed to religion. In fact, it is my firm belief that indoctrination of children into *ANY* religion is a form of abuse. Abuse that should result in the parents loosing custody of the children -- as they've clearly demonstrated they are beings ruled by emotion with no capacity for rational judgement!
A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE AGAINST THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS HORDES:
My equal condemnation of all religious ideologies will no doubt elicit rebukes from the self righteous who believe that by not engaging in the "extremes of religion", that they are "somehow" above the crimes of the extremists. And whilst i congratulate you for not acting out violently towards those who don't share your "emotional faiths", i am here to tell you that you are *NOT* innocent by any means. Even though you do not support or resort to explicit acts of violence against your fellow man, you are in fact committing implicit acts against *ALL* mankind -- since your teachings are a direct repression of man's "faculty of reason".
CONCLUSION:
Even though i have long since conquered the corrupting influences of the religious brain washing i suffered as a young child, i will have to bear the psychological scars of this indoctrination for the remainder of my life. The only positive outcome from this experience has been that I've gained a deep insight into the dark heart of man, and with that insight, i can warn others about the dangers of these "organizations of love".
We must constantly fight against, and ultimately defeat, the weakness that are inherent in our cognitive processes, because if we do not build strong mental defenses against liars, cheats and con-men, the malevolents of the world will use these weakness against us.
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